Typically, when I tell the story of me moving to China the conversation then continues something like this:
Friend - "Did you know anyone there?"
Me - "No."
Friend - "You went alone?! So you spoke the language?"
Me - "No. I knew about 5 words total and they weren't words that could help me in any manner."
Friend - "Weren't you so scared?!"
Me - "Not really. I was excited, nervous and already missing my friends. But I wasn't afraid."
Friend - "I could never do that! It's scary!"
I'm here to tell you that although it can be scary (or even lonely) that traveling alone is a whole new adventure that you SHOULD experience. Although now, many years later, my preference is to travel with friends I treasure all the times I've adventured alone as it brought me out of my comfort zone and helped me find a new way to experience my travels. I highly believe that being nowhere near a comfort zone enriched my experience.
Everyone has that one thing that makes traveling alone scary. What's yours? Think about it. The most common reasons that have been given to me about the fear of traveling alone are these: not knowing the language, getting lost and being alone. I'll break these different items down and suggest some ways to overcome these fears and some of the amazing results from stepping out despite these fears.
Language
Yes, this is a common fear when traveling to a foreign country. "How do I do ANYTHING without knowing the language?!" This is a valid thought as in many nations your chances of finding someone fluent in your mother tongue are minimal. But there are ways around not being able to communicate by established languages.
Most people feel comfortable using some form of non-verbal language. Whether it's pointing at things or trying to act it out, it surpasses the need for verbal communication. You want to buy something? Point at it with a questioning expression and the shopkeeper will write it down or try to show you in sign language or point at a nearby sign with the price on it. Trying to figure out how to get to a tourist attraction? Show a map pointing at the location or a paper with the name of the place in their native tongue with a questioning look. Most people are willing to help out at that point and will try to point you in the right direction. With any luck, you'll find someone that wants to go above and beyond to help you out and take you to the bus, subway or taxi and ask someone to make sure you get to the right place. This has happened to me many times and has been extremely helpful. Also, you may run into someone that speaks some of your native tongue OR is actually fluent. Jackpot!
The benefit from going out alone in a place you are completely surrounded by the language is that you will begin to hear the intricacies of the language and start learning it much faster. You aren't leaning on the crutch of your friend being there and not needing to try at all in the local language. You'll meet some amazing new people along the way as well.
"How am I going to order food?!" Well, this is where the adventure starts. Worst case scenario is that it will all be in the native language and you'll have NO IDEA what anything is. You can either point to a dish on a neighboring table or use your trusty phone to translate it. Or if you're really feeling adventurous, just point at something on the menu. You'll definitely get food and maybe it will become your new favorite dish. Just make sure to have someone write down or teach you how to say that dish so that you can order it again in the future and a different restaurant. Ideal scenario would be that most, if not all, of the items are accompanied by a picture. If you're not sure what the meat is in a dish - I'm sure your waiter will act out the animal for you if you point at the item with a questioning look. Best case scenario the menu will be bilingual and you'll know exactly what you're getting into.
Getting Around My first time solo traveling was to Hong Kong for just a couple days. I didn't, and still don't, speak a lick of Cantonese. I was able to get around easily on the subway as the different lines are clearly written in English on their maps. Even if I wasn't exactly sure where I was going or if there was even anything interesting to do, it made transportation very simple. Go somewhere and then hop on the subway and go back to where you started from. Quite simple, really. Buses are slightly more complicated as they don't usually have signs in English indicating each stop but as long as you remember the bus number you can just hop back on it going the opposite direction and end up right where you started. I used this same technique when I first visited South Korea on my own. The added benefit of current times compared to my first times in foreign countries is that most people have cell phones in which you can translate text, signs, writing, voices basically instantly plus you have easy access to maps and GPS. The chances of getting lost now are quite low. And if you're still scared - my best bit of advice is ALWAYS carry a paper with the name of the place you are staying written on it. Find a taxi or a well meaning person and you'll eventually end up back where you started. You'll also see a lot of new and interesting places on the way.
If you like seeing new things, this way of getting around is the best. Be adventurous - find a random bus or subway to hop on and start your day. "But how do I know how much it costs?" Well, the subway is very clear on that when you pay the fare. If you don't understand the bus signs, the bus driver will indicate to you what you need to pay if you look lost. In general, people aren't going to be incredibly rude to you. And again, you may run into that one person that wants to help you out or speaks English. New friends and new adventures at the same time! The locals are always a good source to find the most exciting parts of town - even if they are off the beaten path or not listed on your favorite tourism site telling you the "must visit" places.
I can say that only once was I terrified that I'd gotten lost and I wasn't even on a solo trip at the time. We had been traveling with a group of friends and for some reason the 2 of us had to travel to a place we'd been to only once before to drop off an item. Between the 2 of us, we figured we could figure it out - at least we were more confident than the rest of the people in the group so we chose to take on the task. On the way to the destination we kept asking each other "does this look familiar?" and "did we pass it?" But as we got closer to it we both recognized it and knew exactly which stop to get off at. Then we had to head back to where we were staying. We had been to that bus station multiple times so we felt more confident that we knew when to get off. In fact, I think we both fell asleep for portions of the trip - but we both immediately recognized our stop when we got near it. If you lack confidence in recognizing your stop - take a picture of it to remind yourself while on the way back.
Loneliness
This is probably the hardest part to overcome. Most of us are used to being around people we can easily talk with. Being in a foreign nation where you don't know the language or the area can increase the feeling of loneliness IF you let it. If it makes you more comfortable, put on a set of headphones and listen to your favorite music or a podcast. This will comfort your need for a language you understand. Try not to do this too much as it will take you out of living in the moment and interacting with the locals. But it's a great way to combat the loneliness from not being able to communicate verbally.
One thing that I've seen help many people is staying in a youth hostel. In youth hostels you'll be surrounded by people traveling on the cheap. My best advice in regards to the youth hostel is to be careful how much time you spend there or with the people from there. You're in a foreign country - try to get the most authentic experience possible. Sure, have fun at night when the hostel is having a pizza party. Maybe take a day where you hang out in the city with a few people you just met. But adventure out on your own as well because staying with them will change the way you experience the area. Also, the people at the hostels (both that work there and that have been there for longer than you have) are a great source of all the best places in the area - whether it's for food, shopping or just being a tourist. They'll be able to help you catch a taxi or find a tour bus or visit a unique spot that's out of the way that a friend of a friend of a friend told you about.
Step out and try to make new friends wherever you go. If you see someone watching you and looking curious - say hi with a smile. They might not understand you, but a smile and a greeting go a long way. I've shared long distance trains with people I couldn't understand AT ALL and vice versa. We sat around sharing food, looking at pictures and teaching each other card games and had a wonderful time. The kids started doing silly things and we all enjoyed the trip so much more with all of the activity going on. When you're out and about, ask someone to take your picture. After they do that, offer to take a selfie with them. They'll remember that for a long time. And maybe the person you happen to ask speaks English. You never know until you try.
Closing
As I stated earlier, my preference now is to travel with a small group of friends. For me it's more from a place that I know I have developed a way to experience a new culture with the mindset of a solo traveler and wanting to share this experience with others. I try my best to get people out of their comfort zone in all of the above aspects. I don't translate every other word for them and push them to try to communicate on their own - even if it IS halting or sign language. When possible, I push people to go places on their own or even just without the crutch of me being nearby to tell them what to do. And traveling with friends doesn't mean that we only talk with each other. We make local friends and interact with people while out and about constantly. Sometimes we don't even walk near each other - just taking in everything on our own - and that's when we meet a new person. If traveling solo terrifies you - maybe think about going on a trip with me sometime. I promise not to push you out of the nest until I think you are ready for it! But I WILL push you out of the nest... I want to see you fly!
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